I lost someone and the days feel flat
On grief that does not look like grief, and on what the sources ask of you in it.
دَخَلنا مع رَسولِ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّم على أبي سَيفٍ القَينِ، وكان ظِئرًا لإبراهيمَ عليه السَّلامُ، فأخَذَ رَسولُ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّم إبراهيمَ، فقَبَّلَه، وشَمَّه، ثُمَّ دَخَلنا عليه بَعدَ ذلك وإبراهيمُ يَجودُ بنَفسِه، فجَعَلَت عَينا رَسولِ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّم تَذرِفانِ، فقال له عبدُ الرَّحمَنِ بنُ عَوفٍ رَضيَ اللهُ عنه: وأنتَ يا رَسولَ اللهِ؟ فقال: يا ابنَ عَوفٍ إنَّها رَحمةٌ، ثُمَّ أتبَعَها بأُخرى، فقال صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّم: إنَّ العَينَ تَدمَعُ، والقَلبَ يَحزَنُ، ولا نَقولُ إلَّا ما يَرضى رَبُّنا، وإنَّا بفِراقِكَ يا إبراهيمُ لَمَحزونونَ
“We went in with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ to Abu Sayf the smith, whose wife had nursed Ibrahim, peace be upon him. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ took Ibrahim, kissed him and breathed in his scent. Later we went in as Ibrahim was giving up his soul, and the eyes of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ began to overflow. Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf said to him: you too, Messenger of Allah? He said: Ibn Awf, it is a mercy. Then more tears followed, and he said: the eye weeps and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord; and at your parting, Ibrahim, we are grieved.”Translated by Uswah draft, awaiting review
Sahih al-Bukhari 1303
Narrator : Anas ibn MalikGraded by : al-BukhariSource :
Flatness is grief too. There is no requirement to feel it dramatically, and no schedule you are behind on.
What to doKeep one ordinary obligation every day. It is a rope, and it holds more than it looks like it should.
Next
I am far from home and it does not get easier
On distance that stops being temporary, and what to build where you are.
I have been waiting a long time
On duas that have not been answered yet, and what waiting is understood to be doing.
Someone keeps asking me for money
What to do when the asking never stops, and what the Prophet ﷺ told a man who came to him for help.